Losing a child can be a very difficult thing to handle emotionally. Such a significant loss is handled differently by every person who goes through the horrible tragedy. If you and your spouse recently lost a child, it is important to go to marriage counseling as soon as you possibly can to ensure that both of you handle the loss of your child as constructively as possible. The following guide walks you through a few ways the counseling may be able to help you and your spouse.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
When someone loses a child, it can cause them to retract from their life and become quiet and depressed. When this happens in a relationship after losing a child, it can put a huge strain on a marriage. One member of the relationship may feel that they want to talk about the loss, while the other member may feel they are not ready to talk about things, so they just shut down and stop talking about much of anything. The counselor can help to ensure that both you and your spouse talk to one another about how you are feeling and how the situation is affecting you. He or she will not force someone to talk about the loss directly until they are ready.
Ensure You Are Being Honest with One Another
There are times when one member of a relationship may try to mask their hurt or sadness in order to make the grieving process easier for their spouse. This is not a good route to take because everyone needs to grieve when there is a loss in their life. The counselor will be able to talk to you both one-on-one to ensure that you are both grieving constructively.
Avoid Hurting One Another's Feelings
When a child loses their life, people often want to find someone or something to blame for the loss so that they can grasp it mentally. Couples sometimes blame one another for the loss, which can tear a marriage apart. The counselor will ensure you and your spouse do not hurt one another by blaming each other for the loss so that you can build your marriage and become stronger together, rather than have the loss tear you apart.
You may not need to go to counseling forever, but you should not be afraid to go to your counselor whenever you feel you need to talk about something, are feeling depressed, or simply do not know how to process the emotions you are feeling. Counselors have experience working with couples going through many different things in life and can help you and your spouse work together to get through the loss.